SHES NOT AN OBJECT

She was a 15 year old. She was cyber bullied by a pervert who leaked her nude pictures on the internet. She was bullied by other girls. She read comments of people asking her to drink bleach and die. She changed towns, changed schools, but the bullying continued. She cut her vein and gave them the satisfaction.

She was a 13 year old. She was an immigrant in US. She was raped by her cousin in a public washroom on her 13th birthday. Through her screams, she heard footsteps outside but no one came to her rescue. She lives today wounded, scarred and without any hope in humanity.

She was a 16 year old who went to school in Delaware. She was jumped by two girls in the washroom and beaten to her death, over a boy.

She is a 19 year old acid attack survivor from Mumbai. She was attacked by her sister’s husband when she refused to be his wife. She lost an eye and half her face to burns.

She was a 22 year old singer. She was shot to death by a man…

…who didn’t have a reason to kill her.

These realities continue. If these are the stories known to the world, the stories hushed from ears meets no bound. Women all over the world face such difficulties. Every 7 minutes, a crime is committed against women. The Problem? Objectifying women as mortal possessions.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you’re from, what you do or how you look. You can easily be victimized. A woman’s safety is dragged to the gutters.

When the problem of being ‘sixteen and pregnant’ has come to a rest, it’s the era of cyber bullying and body shaming. There’s just so much hate being passed through these micro chips. About 35% kids all over the world have admitted that they have been threatened online. There have also been a considerable number of suicides and homicides due to this.

 And if it isn’t men hurting women over rejected proposals to satisfy their pleasures, it’s the women hurting women over jealousy. The constant pressure of being “perfect” and “accepted” by the society gets to them on a level that leads to depression, anxiety, mood disorders and anorexia. Body shamming has glamorously been taking the self esteem out of girls and with it, their lives too. There always seems to be a kind of imperfection- too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too light, too dark, too quiet, too putting-it-out there, too shallow, too slutty- labels given to everyone.  Their conditioned confidence coupled with hateful comments, puts them down.

The ones who survive, gets acid thrown on their faces. The reason you ask? Because if you can’t have her, then no one can have her. It’s bad enough that women need to fear to travel alone, especially after dark, they don’t need the burden of hiding their faces in broad daylight, to weigh them down. Being doubtful of relations and facing betrayal has really taken a toll on their trust in humaneness. 

A woman lives in constant fear and is always vigilant of her pride, integrity, safety and sanctity. They are constantly shadowed by reminders of what they are supposed to do and what they mustn’t, simply because they are girls. But how can they excel when they are being held back? When even their basic mobility is being confined? Women are trying hard to make things happen for themselves, to build up a life for themselves. The least what anyone can do is merely let them. Confine the spread of negativity and throw a hood on hatred. Empower and encourage them in their endeavors.  Sure, being a woman may be tough, but they were definitely built tough. Eyes on all sides may not seem enough protection, but surely there’s no regret. Being a woman is hard, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Greeshma Kurian

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